Esther's Testimony Date: June 30th 2001 Place: Home My testimony isn't one that is spectacular or wind-blown. It's a humble little story about how a rebellious youth came to Christ. I was born into a strong Christian family. But for some weird reason I never thought about salvation seriously. Since I have had the Christian beliefs drilled into my head from birth I always thought that I was saved by the head knowledge and never actually accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart through his finished work on the cross. So I went on with life like normal. One night I was laying in my bed I was around 10 at the time. And even though I was sleeping I was in turmoil because I knew something was wrong internally. I was waging a war in my head in a dream. In my dream I was laying in a coffin. Heaven was above me and Hell below me. And I was suspended between the two by poles coming out on either side of the coffin. Jesus Christ was holding one of the poles and Satan the other. And they were both asking me over and over "Who will you choose?" Well I woke up crying and called for my mama who came running because of it and we both prayed and I asked Jesus into my life as my own personal Saviour and Lord. ___________________ You might think that the story ends there right? But it doesn't. I think that a lot of the problems that fueled my downward spiral into the spiritual/morbid realm was my childhood experiences with the demon world. You see I had some close friends who lived in a house that was literally demon possessed. We found out later on that there were ouija boards, tarot cards, and other random articles of witchcraft in the walls. But me and my friend would hear drumming on the walls at night, laughter in the house, and I remember seeing "blood" oozing from the corners of the walls, and we would see dark human figures and faces along with lights. My one friend would sleepwalk with her eyes open and cackle in her sleep. I was terrified in that house as was she and her borther. We didn't like sitting or sleeping in the basement. But I will not get to graphic in the things I saw but it helped stew the fire to my hard heart. I might of asked the Lord into my heart and repented from my sins. But after awhile I started to fall away. I know that I was still a Christian but I was in rebellion towards God and my Parents. There was a change going through me and it wasn't a holy one. It was demonic. I got infactuated with morbid ideas in which I will not mention in detail. I would cut myself on purpose and get pleasure out of seeing people in pain. I would draw the imaginations of my heart and I was a very good artist back then because I know that I was being a tool of Satan. I still draw today but but even close to what I experienced back then. I got into the wrong crowd but thankfully the Lord kept me from crossing the line. I was a woman's liberalist in every way. I thought that guys were toys and even then the Lord kept my purity safe which is surprising, because I should of lost it in my rebellion. But even I knew deep inside of me that I was worth something because God made me. I lost alot of close friends because of this, as I spread my own opinions and thoughts and twisted the scriptures to fit my own meanings. Never-the-less, my family was ready to kick me out. My aunts and uncles had given up on trying to correct me because I wasn't going to listen to reason. Life was a mess to the point were my morbidity wasn't just in thought or small action anymore. I wanted to die. Suicide was on my mind all the time even to this day I will remember the things I tried and the thoughts I drew up in my head and feel like crying, they were definitely thoughts of the devil. Got to the point were I pretty much hated God, because he wouldn't let me die. My family was drifting away from me because of ME... my actions and stubborn ideas were pushing me away, they still had a small hope that the Lord would bring me back, even though I had stopped reading my Bible. Yes I was at the lowest level in my life, I had everything "planned" out and I didn't need God or anyone else for that matter, being constantly depressed. It took me to the point of suicide and thankfully God gave and used someone very special to help me turn on all the lights in my life again, helped lead me back to the Lord, with a little help from my family, I slowly grew out of the fear and pain I had been in and learned that it was by my own sin and selfishness that i was hurting everyone around me. Philip asking me if I really actually loved any of them! My mama couldn't take it anymore, she slammed a Bible in front on me and with tears in her eyes she yelled "READ IT!" So I flipped it open and read Proverbs 3 the whole chapter and it spoke to me in a way I cannot ever express in writing. All I know is that I got on my knees for the first time in years willingly and cried my heart out to the Lord. I then repented and told him HIS will be done in my life, I NEEDED him I couldn't do it alone. I apologized for pushing him out of my life and I wanted him living in it and guiding it. And I am now secure and assured of where I am in him and that he loves me because he had died for my sins on the cross. Every bad thing I have done he forgave, and I would never go back to that state of mind because it's helpless and pathetic. My Lord is Awesome and powerful. I hope that you enjoyed this my testimony. Much Love in Christ, Esther Goodnough | Philip's Testimony Date: Aug 7 2002 Place: KCBC OK so I Guess I will start at the beginning because that is a good place to starts. I have grown up in a Christian home all my life. I am the oldest of 4 Brothers so I have a large responsibility. But I got a break for that once a year. It was at Kootney Christian bible Camp. There I was on my own, away from Brothers, Parents, and Other Family. I could do what ever I wanted with in the rules of the camp. I had been told all my life about God and Jesus Christ, but did not full get the the point or idea of Salvation. I knew that God Created everything. I Knew the storys of the Bible, Of Daved, Noah, Adam, Moses, and even Jesus death on the cross. I was the Best in my Sunday school. Always got the questions right and had the most candy in my pocket. Even with all my knowledge I still did not understand why this was so important, I thought " It is something mom and dad do." That was the only reason I had for Church, Well that and the candy (Yes I Know I was Bad). So here I was at this Bible Camp, we had church 2 times a day. Morning and night. Can't remember the camp part that well But that year there was a Pastor that came up form the USA. He was are speaker for that camp. When I First saw him I thought " Another boring Pastor here to speak on stuff I know all about" (yes I know I was a jerk). Little did I know that he was to become one of my best friends that week. So at the First church of the week I sat down and started to listen to what this Pastor had to say. So the song leader started the music and we sung "Open The Eyes of My Heart Lord". When this was Done the Pastor (I am going to use "The Pastor" Because I can't remember his name) started to speak. He talked about a chasm and that we where one one side and God and Jesus was on the other. This was new to me, I did not Understand full what he was talking about but I wanted to know more. So later that day at lunch he went up to announce the he had a game to play and that we would get points for are team if we won. He had hide a snake some where on the camp grounds and we had to find it, The snake's name was Seemore.We had to find bible versus and fallow the message that was at the end of each one. So through this game we became friends. I found Seemore 4 out of 6 days. So Every Morning he Preached, at lunch we Talked and played Find Seemore in the Bible, And then he preached again at the end of the day. On the Wednesday night he explained how to cross the chasm. He talked about the Jesus the Great Bridge builder. How He Built a bridge a crossed the Chasm of Hell. After the sermon I Understood what I Had to do. I had to Ask Jesus in to my heart and wash it Clean with his blood that paved the bridge. So I Went to fined the The Pastor. I Asked him how to ask, He Told me that it is "Just like Talk to a Friend" So he Prayed with me that night. I Asked Jesus to Come in and clean me, so I could be with him forever in heaven. ________________ But It did not End there, I went through are hard time in my life. A cold depression. But that part has ended and I May write about it at another time. Do What I did, Take the FREE Gift of the Blood Bridge. You will never look back on it with regret. God Bless! Forever With The Lord ~Philip D. Rawick~ |
